Transitional Objects: Comfort In Times Of Change
How can we use them to address emotionally-based school non-attendance (EBSNA
For many, a beloved teddy bear, a soft blanket, or a well-worn toy car holds a special place in their heart. These items, known as transitional objects, can play a significant role in emotional development and provide comfort during times of stress or change. Even for teenagers, these objects, though perhaps less overtly "childish," can offer a sense of security and support as they navigate the complexities of adolescence, including emotionally based non-school attendance.
What are transitional objects?
While younger children might cling to stuffed animals or blankets, teenagers' transitional objects might evolve to include items like:
A favourite hoodie or sweatshirt that provides a sense of warmth and security
A piece of jewellery with sentimental value, perhaps a gift from a loved one
A well-loved book or a journal filled with personal thoughts and feelings
A playlist or specific song that evokes positive memories or emotions
A photograph or other memento that represents a cherished relationship or experience
These objects, though seemingly ordinary, can hold immense emotional significance and offer comfort during challenging times.
How can they help with emotionally based non-school attendance in teenagers?
Emotionally based non-school attendance, in teenagers especially, often stems from anxiety, depression, or other emotional challenges. The familiar presence of a transitional object can help in several ways:
Managing Anxiety: The tactile comfort and familiarity of the object can help to ground a teen during moments of anxiety, offering a sense of control and calm.
Boosting Self-Esteem: Having a tangible reminder of positive memories or personal strengths can boost self-esteem and resilience, encouraging a teen to take steps towards re-engaging with school.
Expressing Emotions: Transitional objects can facilitate communication, particularly for teens who find it difficult to express their feelings verbally. The object can act as a starting point for conversations with parents, counsellors, or therapists.
How can transitional objects be used in a school setting (for teenagers)
With sensitivity and understanding, transitional objects can be incorporated into the school environment:
A teen might discreetly keep their object in their backpack or locker, providing reassurance throughout the day.
The object could be used during specific times, like during study hall or when feeling overwhelmed.
School staff, particularly counsellors or trusted teachers, can be informed about the object's significance and its role in the teen's well-being.
I have made specific reference to teenagers here, as transitional objects can provide a greater challenge for them in the context of feeling embarrassment from social pressures—being a 13-year-old with a teddy bear, etc.
It’s important to remember this: anxiety comes from fear of the unknown, a belief that what we don’t know is always scary, what is scary is cannot be faced, and a retreat to what is comfortable, even at the expense of resilience in the future. Transitional objects are not a quick fix for emotionally based non-school attendance, but they can be a valuable part of a comprehensive support plan. They offer a tangible connection to comfort and security, helping teenagers navigate the complexities of adolescence and gradually return to a sense of normalcy.
And in summary?
Transitional objects are a way of being able to link the present that is troubling to another place that is safe, and being able to withstand anxiety as it abates as time goes on. When introducing these as an approach to a young person, manage their expectations. They are not a quick fix. Remember:
Respect each teen's individual needs and preferences regarding their transitional object.
Open communication and collaboration between the teen, parents, and school staff is crucial.
If a teenager is struggling with persistent emotional challenges, professional help should be sought.
Can you help me?
Absolutely! Contact me to arrange a chemistry/discovery call with me—with no charge, and free from obligation.
Seeking professional help is crucial if you or your child are struggling with mental health challenges or EBSNA. As a qualified coach, a Trauma Informed Schools Practitioner-in-training and a trainee counsellor, I can help you think about strategies to manage.
Please get in touch:
Final thoughts
It’s okay for your a young person to feel fear around facing school, and for you as an adult to feel out of your depth handling this. Like your young person, try to settle into what it means to be uncomfortable in this way. Don’t focus too much on your own feelings at their expense, particularly with a desire to find a quick fix for your young person—as tempting as it is. Listen to them and collaborate with them to find solutions together. Have a look at the SPARK website for ideas too.
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