Building familial mental health by improving parental mental health
Because you can't pour from an empty cup
Calling all parents, superheroes, and juggling champions! We know the drill: endless cuddles, homework battles, and the never-ending quest for the lost sock. In this whirlwind of small humans and big responsibilities, it's easy to forget to fill our own cups.
Have you ever been on a flight before? Remember that airline safety briefing? Put on your oxygen mask first, then help others. The same goes for mental health. We are so preoccupied with helping our children. So much so that we forget to take care of our own needs, and let our own health deteriorate. This hurts everybody. When we take care of ourselves, we become better equipped to handle the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
So why is it important?
A happy, healthy you means a happier, healthier family. Here's why prioritising parental mental health matters:
Chill vibes for you: Taking care of your mental health helps you manage stress, bounce back from challenges, and keep those loving vibes flowing. If you’re stressed, you better believe the young people in your life will pick up and respond to it on some level.
Stronger bonds with your little ones: Feeling your best allows you to be more patient, present, and attuned to your children's needs, fostering deeper connections. How often do we miss opportunities for connection because we are so stressed and distracted? Lose the stress and the distractions and you will have time to look at that Mega Bloks creation—and pretend you know what it is.
Leading by example: By prioritising self-care, you show your kids that it's okay to ask for help and that taking care of yourself is important—no matter how many times you've explained the importance of brushing teeth!
How do I prioritise my mental health as a parent?
We all have 24 hours—not the same 24 hours though, if we’re being honest. If you have a child, a job and other things to juggle, it can feel like they just slip away so quickly. Here are some ways to sneak in self-care even during the busiest times:
Tiny victories: Even 15 minutes a day can make a difference. Read a book in the bathtub, take a walk in nature, or simply breathe deeply while your little one naps. Every bit counts!
Reach out: It takes a village to raise a family. The nuclear family is actually quite a recent invention—so don't be afraid to ask for help! Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or find your way to a support group. Remember, a strong support system is key.
Boundaries are your friend: Setting boundaries with kids and others helps protect your precious time and energy. It's okay to say "no" sometimes! They might not like it, but they will get it.
Seek professional help: If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to a professional of some sort. They can provide support, tools, and strategies for managing your mental health. You might consider a coach, a counsellor, or a therapist of some kind. If you’re not sure what to do next, make an appointment with your GP.
Can You Help Me?
I hope so. I am a qualified coach and trainee therapist with experience of working with parents who are struggling with their own mental health. As part of my coaching of young people, I often provide advice, strategies or advice to parents—whether to support their child’s recovery, or to support their own as part of a whole family approach.
Please get in touch:
Ed Anthony of The Mental Wellbeing Centre also produces some amazing materials and has a great approach to helping parents supporting positive mental health in themselves and in their children.
Final thoughts
Being a parent is an incredible journey, but it's not always easy. Remember, prioritising your mental health isn't a luxury; it's the foundation for a happy and thriving family.
Start small, celebrate your victories, and don't be afraid to ask for help. You are not alone! By taking care of yourself, you're becoming the best version of yourself for your children and for everyone around you. Now, go out there and conquer that "lost sock quest" with a renewed sense of calm and confidence!
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