Am I Neurodivergent Too?
My child is currently being assessed for ADHD and autism... and I wondered.. what about me?
First things first: sorry for taking last week off! Just like you, I occasionally get struck by bouts of little motivation and business—very occasionally they happen side-by-side!
This week’s topic is inspired by a conversation I have very often. It happens really for two reasons, I imagine: the assessment process can often be so paper-heavy and burdensome that many parents tell me they struggle to sit down and do it all, and coordinate its safe return to their GP surgery for a referral. When parents are going through the lengthy process, they find that there is a lot of time for reflection—”the things the paediatrician is asking about sound a lot like me!”
That’s the thing: parenting is a journey filled with discovery. Discovery about your child and yourself. It’s becoming increasingly common to wonder: "Am I neurodivergent too?"
If this resonates, know you're not alone. Many parents find that their child's diagnosis or assessment opens a door to self-discovery. It's a journey worth taking, in my view. I say this as somebody who got a rather late diagnosis: it’s never too late. Understanding your own differences can lead to deeper empathy for your child, more effective communication, and even a sense of belonging.
Why The Question Arises
There are a few reasons why this question often comes up:
Inherited traits: Neurodivergence, like many traits, can be hereditary. It's not uncommon for parents to recognise aspects of their own childhood or current experiences reflected in their child.
Shared challenges: You might notice that you face similar struggles as your child when it comes to sensory processing, social interaction, or executive function.
Late diagnosis: Many neurodivergent adults grew up without a diagnosis. Seeing their child's challenges can be a catalyst for seeking answers about their own experiences. It can also be something that puts them off—”NHS services are overwhelmed and I have coped” or “will knowing that change anything for me now?” Those are good questions to be honest about with yourself to assess your motivation, and your desire for wanting to receive a diagnosis.
Signs to Look For
If you're wondering about your own neurodivergence, here are some potential signs to explore:
Childhood experiences: Did you feel different from your peers growing up? Were you intensely focused on specific interests, sensitive to certain sounds or textures, or struggle with social cues? How much of that is true now?
Current challenges: Do you have difficulty with organisation, time management, or multitasking? Are you prone to sensory overload or find social situations draining?
Strengths and passions: Do you have areas of intense focus, creativity, or hyper-specific knowledge? Neurodivergent brains often come with unique strengths and passions.
Seeking Answers and Support
If you're curious to learn more, here are some steps you can take:
Research: Learn about different types of neurodivergence like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and others. There's a wealth of information available online and in books. You might want to find out what the differences are for adults and children—for your knowledge, and to build your empathy with your little one.
Talk to a professional: If you want a diagnosis, seek a referral to a specialist service for assessment. Your GP can do this for you. You might wish to use NHS Right To Choose.
Connect with others: Join online communities or support groups for neurodivergent adults. Sharing experiences and insights can be incredibly validating and helpful.
Embracing Neurodiversity
Whether or not you pursue a formal diagnosis, exploring your neurodivergence can be a transformative experience. It can help you:
Build stronger connections: Understanding your child's perspective on a deeper level can lead to more meaningful communication and mutual support.
Develop self-compassion: Recognising your own challenges and strengths can foster self-acceptance and reduce feelings of shame or inadequacy.
Celebrate differences: Neurodivergence is not a deficit. It's a different way of experiencing and interacting with the world, one with unique strengths and perspectives.
Remember, there's no right or wrong way to be neurodivergent. Whether you're just starting to explore the question or have a confirmed diagnosis, embrace the journey of self-discovery. It can lead to profound personal growth and a richer understanding of both yourself and your child.
And in short?
The decision to seek a diagnosis is a personal one, and there's no right or wrong answer. Weighing the potential benefits and drawbacks can help you make an informed choice that aligns with your individual needs and goals. Remember, whether or not you choose to pursue a formal label, you are not alone, and there is support available to help you thrive.
Can you help me?
Absolutely! Contact me to arrange a chemistry/discovery call with me—with no charge, and free from obligation.
Please get in touch:
Final thoughts
Whether to ask for a diagnosis, explore one, and whether to share one when you get one are all deeply personal questions. Nothing is right or wrong. Our choices are our choices.
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